I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while now, but it’s funny how life with a newborn and a toddler can fill up your days (and nights) and not leave much time for blogging. But now I have a couple days with just the newborn as the toddler is off to stay with grandparents, and magically it seems like I have so much more time to do a few things for myself (like be online and more importantly – sleep!). Rather than write a big long narrative, I wanted to make a list of sorts of observations from the last 12 days just so I can look back and remember what this time was like.

*Raegan is a doll. She has me up a couple times each night to nurse & usually each session takes an hour. Sometimes this makes me incredibly cranky because I don’t want to leave the cozy bed to sit in the rocking chair. But then she sleep grins at me and I melt into a pile of mama mush, so happy and so proud to have her in my life.

*She is a sleepy nurser. We have to strip her down and change diapers throughout every feeding because she only stays on so long before drifting off and no amount of burping or chin/cheek tickling can seem to wake her.

*She doesn’t cry much (she does more a short squawk/squeak when she wants attention), but when she does, holy wow, the girl has lungs! 

*For the first 9 days, Harrison was enthralled with his sister. While he still says, “She’s cute” in a high squeaky baby talk voice and still wants to give her kisses on the top of her head all day long, he is no longer being gentle with her. In fact, at times, he is the exact opposite which has been quite stressful for me. I try to keep telling myself that his world has been rocked completely and that I need to be patient with him, but that isn’t easy when he suddenly unloads and lashes out at her (or me). I can only hope this is a phase that passes quickly or I may not make it on my own with the two of them, day in and day out.

*I thought HD would cling to me after I got home from the hospital, but for the first week or so he was pretty much snubbing me. He wanted anyone else – Daddy, Grandma, Grandpa…but not Mama. There were a few hormonal days where that really hurt and made me a weepy mess, but now he seems excited to see me again when he returns to the house after an outing.

*I keep wondering what I thought I was so stressed about when I just had one baby. What did I do with all that time when the baby was sleeping?! Now it seems that Raegan gets me up for an early morning feeding and just as she finishes up and I could crawl back into bed, Harrison is stirring in the next room and so the day begins. & then, thanks to the crib-to-bed switching debacle, afternoon naps haven’t been happening, so I am tired, tired, tired all the time. I know, I know. I should be sleeping now. But again – I know I have all day tomorrow to nurse and snooze with Little Girl, so I will catch up then.

*I went to Walmart the other night (after Harrison had gone to bed and Raegan had just nursed) to get groceries and other various baby items. I felt like I had lost a limb as I walked around in public by myself. I guess I’m just not used to doing that anymore because I almost always had HD with me in the past. I even flipped out the little child seat on the cart one my way into the store – twice!  I can’t imagine how long it will be before I’m brave (or naive) enough to take both kids shopping…years perhaps?

*It really is fun to shop for little girl clothing.

*Somehow we have made it 12 days with no spit up. I shouldn’t even say that out loud & you can guarantee that I just knocked on wood after typing that, but it’s true. Raegan has yet to urp on me. Unbelievable & yes, probably TMI for some of you. 🙂

I know I had better details and more specific moments that I wanted to record, but many of those thoughts are escaping my fuzzy, sleepy brain at the moment. I’ll try to keep writing about what life is like as a family of four. For now I know that it is beautiful, challenging, overwhelming, and such a blessing.


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