To be perfectly honest, I don’t know all 12 steps in a 12 step program. I think it is safe to say, though, that I’ve gone through quite a few of them this week with what appears to be the end of day sleep for Harrison. I know there has definitely been some denial and some anger. And now, slowly, I am settling on acceptance after five full days of not forcing (and not getting a voluntary) nap.
The first couple days of the Great Nap Experiment involved me asking HD over and over again if he was tired or sleepy. Did he want to read stories? Take a nap? Take a rest? “Nope.” “I’m not sleepy.” “I don’t want to nap.” “I’m still playing!” were what I heard in response every single time, so by Wednesday, I quit asking. I may be slow, but I got the hint. He really did not want to sleep.
As a result of this no-nap approach, a few things have happened. For one, he is going to bed early. As in 6:00 early. And while he still isn’t staying in his room or bed all night (still coming in 3-5 times throughout the night to find us, only to be walked back to his bed where he typically falls asleep again right away), he is going down right away at 6ish. At least that is an improvement! The other outcome, though, has been a little more trying. He is literally with me allllllllll day long. Now it’s not that I don’t like spending time with my son, but I am struggling to get him to do anything on his own throughout the day. For someone so independent, it is almost funny how much he wants to be in my face or space. I haven’t really pushed this whole quiet, independent time thing yet, but I’m going to have to because having no time to myself all day every day is just as exhausting as spending an hour (plus) getting him to nap every day.
So how am I able to type this right now? Netflix. Yes, I am using Curious George via Netflix to get 20 minutes of me-time while the baby sleeps. I’ve been turning the TV off every day at 1:00 so that the whole afternoon isn’t just one show after another (unless he naps – then I tell him he can watch whatever he wants, but even that isn’t working!). But the last two days, right around 3:45 when Raegan needed to nurse, I fudged it a bit and pulled up Netflix on the Kindle Fire. So it is watching something but I can still pretend that I’m upholding my “no TV” rule. Well, kind of. Again, I’m not that slow, but I am that worn out after five very long days, so I don’t really care if it is giving in. Mama needs a minute. That’s just all there is to it.
For as much as we may have struggled over the years with HD’s naps, I certainly didn’t think that two-and-a-half would be the end of the line. Guess I’m going to have to get really creative with how I structure our days because 7:45 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. without Daddy and without nap every weekday is going to get pretty interesting pretty quick. Maybe I’ll finally start putting some of those Pinterest ideas I’ve found into practice?