It occurred to me this week that if I were to rename this blog, a little over two years after starting it, Two Years Tired would be an appropriate choice. I mean, really. From the very beginning, I’ve been writing about the sleep, or rather the lack thereof, in this house. You know, like this story and this one, or this one and this. However, it seems that sleep is at the root of all I think/worry about, so I guess it makes sense that it consumes my writing, too.
So what’s the latest on sleep in our house? I am happy to report that we’re making progress. ALL of us.
Two weeks ago, we switched Harrison and Raegan into a shared room so Lincoln could move into his own space (which in turn freed up our room and my poor ears/brain from hearing every little wiggle and grunt my noisy little baby makes, even when he’s still sound asleep). Surprisingly, amazingly, thankfully, it went well. As in, so well we wondered why on Earth we didn’t do it sooner! The mornings haven’t been too stinkin’ early and the going-to-beds have gotten better and better each night. Raegan is adjusting both to having a roommate and her dad in the room (while her roomie goes to sleep, anyway) and her roomie is being a great example of a good sleeper. Raegan tries every night to talk and sing and Harrison won’t have any of it. He tells her to be quiet and that it’s time to sleep and then he does just that, which is when Ben sneaks out and the RL puts herself to sleep in her crib. Easy Peasy, really, and kind of funny that HD is sleep coaching his baby sis!
Lincoln, on the other hand, took a couple nights to adjust to his new digs (maybe he doesn’t like the decor because the walls are still half covered with Raegan’s stuff?). He was up mid-early-morning (like 2 or 3ish) the first two nights to nurse thanks to the unfortunate timing of his two-month growth spurt. Actually, it wasn’t unfortunate for anyone except for me because somehow, even without him in our room, I struggled to go back to sleep after nursing him. So Tired Mama continued even though everybody else was snoozing nicely.
Then Monday night of this previous week happened. My consolation through all this extreme sleeplessness was that I could always go to sleep to start the night – I just couldn’t stay that way. Well Monday night I lost my consolation when it took me FIVE hours to fall asleep. FIVE HOURS! Talk about feeling like crazy cakes when you lay in bed for five hours knowing just how exhausted you’re going to be the next day and how unfair it is when everyone else is sleeping and that the black circles under your eyes are Never. Ever. Going. AWAY because you’ve completely lost the ability to sleep. Because, after all, you’re TWO whole years tired with no sight of reprieve in sight.
And that’s when you decide to reach out and see what your doctor suggests.
Of course it has to be safe for breast feeding, as are all the other home remedies you’ve been trying (like yoga and cherry juice and evening primrose oil and visualization and no caffeine and so on and so on). And of course you don’t want to be relying on it for long, but holy wow, did I need that help. And thankfully I had the encouragement of both my mom and a good friend on Tuesday to do something to take care of me. And that’s what calling the doctor and getting an OTC solution was – looking out for myself. Because, honestly, if I hadn’t found a way to get myself some real rest and recovery, I don’t know how much longer I could have kept going. And my babies need me to keep going. And I would like very much to give them the best me possible; which hopefully, with a few more nights of decent sleep under my belt, I’ll be able to do so on a regular basis.
Ugh. Apparently I spoke too soon. Last night, after I posted this, was our worst one yet in the two weeks since Lincoln moved out of our room. He was up around 2:30 and almost went back to sleep without nursing but then didn’t and unfortunately, even when he did go back to his room, I never really went back to sleep until after 5. So of course this was the morning Raegan decides to start screaming at 5:50 for no apparent reason. Lovely. At least it’s a Sunday and I could stay upstairs to sort of nap back some of my missed sleep, but yuck. I feel a little One Step Forward, Two Steps Back right now with this whole sleep business. And really, I would like to just be over it. I would much rather think and write about something, anything else!