In college, Spring Break means vacations. Exotic, or at least warm, destinations. Partying and whatnot. In real life, Spring Break means you’re lucky if you get some help with the kids while there is no school for the majority of the week. As it turns out, I’m lucky.
For the first time since before Christmas, the Bigs are off to Grandma’s again for a few days. And true to form, life with just Lincoln reminds me of why having one is as humbling as having seven. Thankfully, his sleep has not been as erratic as last time, but I swear, there are some real obvious changes in the atmosphere here when we’re down to just one babe in the house.
For one, I seem to hear more of the fussies. Is that because LT misses the entertainment and distraction of HD and RL? Probably. It seems like on a normal day, I can set him on the floor and walk away just fine. Sure he might fuss for a second, but then he starts playing with a nearby toy or watches the Bigs playing with toys and calms down pretty quickly. But when it’s just the two of us in the house? Apparently Little Man gets lonely, because if I try to step away for a second to – heaven forbid! – use the bathroom by myself, he gets so upset! I can totally tell he is thinking: Where are the all of the faces and what happened to all of the noise?! It is too quiet, so fussies must commence!
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe my head is spinning less when I’m not trying to juggle the schedules and napping and bathroom and eating habits of three Littles all day long, so I just think there are more fussies when I’m down to just one. Could that be? Some of The Best Advice a friend gave me when Lincoln was born (she’d just had her third earlier that summer) was that it was OK for there to be more. More crying. More TV. More whatever works for dinner. Totally, totally OK. And I think of those sage words almost every day when it does seem like I’m just spinning from one task to the next. More fussies are OK because more love is happening all the time, too. Being here, spinning my plates in the Great Mama Circus is more love than I have ever known. And if a few fussies have to be had occasionally, so be it, because thankfully I’m aware of all the good happening right now, too.
Good like having a beautiful March day of mid-70s yesterday and getting to spend time outside with Harrison before he and Raegan left. Good like having him crawl into my lap numerous times as I sat on the ground soaking up glorious sunshine and telling me that he was going to miss me while he was gone. Good like watching Raegan be a little mama to Lincoln, telling him “It’s OK! It’s OK! I hear you, Buddy. I’m here Little Buddy!” while he was crying (See! He does fuss when they are here!). Good like getting to bask in the sun yet again after Lincoln’s second nap and watch his eyes light up with wonder as the breeze blew in his hair and his fingers found the trying-to-turn-green-again-hallelujah! grass. I mean, seriously. Look at this face. I think anyone can forgive a few fussies when you get grins like this: