When your longest labor ever was still less than half a day and your shortest less than 7 hours from very start to very finish, and you are 39 weeks and 3 days preggers with your fourth, it is easy to convince yourself through much of, well, every day, that TODAY! might be the day.
And when TODAY! turns out to be not the day, again, well, you keep playing the Waiting Game.
In case my tone in posts (both blog and Facebook related) hasn’t been totally clear, I’m not doing so well with the WG. Oh….you gathered that?
I apologize. I really do not mean to sound whiney or ungrateful to be this close to meeting our new little person. I am beyond grateful, actually, and thereby a little impatient, especially since two of the three who are already here did not make me wait this long.
That leads me to a gender prediction, by the way – this kiddo is totally another girl. Raegan is the only other one to stay put so long, so this is her much-wished-for sister-to-be, right?
Or it could be the snuggliest, coziest Little Dude to date (and LT was a pretty snuggly baby, so look out arms – you’re going to be full!).
And maybe, just maybe, today – tonight?! – will be the time s/he finally decides to, as B’s grandpa put it, “end the suspense.”
At this point I feel like I could be pregnant for a while. There are no signs of labor starting any time soon, but then again, I have absolutely NO pattern for labor – another suspense element that makes me think each time my tummy tightens up that, Oh! Oh! Could this be the start?!
Thankfully I know enough about contractions now to understand that those tiny little pseudo-contractions are not actual labor. My emotions keep hoping they mean actual labor is coming, of course (and it will! It is!), but if there is one thing I do remember from labors past, it is that when shit actually gets real, it gets real intense so there is no doubt that I will be aware of when Go Time actually arrives. I just have to keep working to keep those emotional responses in check which, as you can imagine, is a little tricky these days.
Here’s the other part of playing (and not exactly succeeding at) the Waiting Game…I am not the only player. As of early last week, I’ve had people – everyone from family to friends to old acquaintances – checking up on me. Apparently none of us are very patient! 😉 Even though my hormonal side occasionally wants to say “STILL PREGNANT. STIIIIILLLLLLLLL PREGNANT!” I remind myself that it is a blessing to be surrounded by those that care about and love us and can’t wait to hear the good news about this little peanut, and this kid is doing nothing wrong by staying put until really ready to arrive.
To assist both my own brain and perhaps those who may be stalking mine & B’s Facebook pages for (new) baby photos (Hey, not judging. I have totally done that in recent years while waiting to hear a friend’s baby announcement), I decided this morning to reframe and picked social media as my outlet.
I don’t want to whine; OK, I do a little bit, and thank goodness for the close friends who allow me to do that in private messages to them, but more than that, I want to make these last days as peaceful for myself and Baby as possible, and my frame of mind makes a big difference in that. I decided before getting out of bed this morning that this week I would approach each day without delivery as one more chance to accomplish something around the house. A little nesting spree, if you will. But I also realized I didn’t want to run myself ragged, so rest had to be part of the plan, too.
I came up with the following to share for accountability:
“Countdown to 40 weeks on Friday continues…approaching this week with the mentality that any day w/o delivery means another chance to get something done around the house (and nap). Today’s tasks: two closets (and a nap).”
One part Energizer Bunny and one part Rest & Relaxation.
This is what I need for the next few days…to take my mind off the waiting game, to feel productive, and to prepare myself for labor. Nothing super fancy. Nothing super complicated.
And if I keep it up each morning, posting a goal for the day, then folks have a way of knowing that yes, still here, still playing the WG without me necessarily starting every phone call or text with “Not in labor…” which I probably have to keep doing anyway so as to not sound any alarms.
Could today be the day? You bet. But if not, then I’m ready to see what tomorrow brings instead.