Dark Belly of The Tunnel

I am a cranky ass today and, no, not just because it is a Tuesday, although that’s probably not helping. And not just because of the &#$#%$! time change, either, although that’s probably REALLY not helping. Nope – just in the dark belly of The Tunnel thanks to what feels like the camel’s back of sleep hell. Does that even remotely make sense? I can see that I’ve mixed about three or four metaphors there but my brain is so short on function that I really can’t tell the difference between brilliance and b.s. at this point.

So here’s the deal. I should be grateful that I’ve had any sleep in the six and a half months since Truman was born, but today I am stuck on the cranky ass setting because three months ago I was a SMUG ass. My still-new-ish baby slept all blessed night every blessed night and it was awesome. Still tired. Still adjusting to life as six, but awesome.

And then roughly two months ago, that same sweet babe started an early-morning wake-up-to-eat routine. He’d get up sometime in the 3’s, but usually the 4’s and 5’s, and while not awesome, it wasn’t totally awful either. Most nights I went back to sleep and on the ones that I didn’t, I had my good friend coffee to keep me going the next day.

Four weeks ago, however, we turned a bad corner. I got super sick and completely effed over my own sleep cycle in the process (and this is after giving it quite a run for its money post sinus surgery over the holidays). Just days after I finally started feeling better (almost two weeks later), Truman got super sick and his sleep went from mostly fine to full-on crap.

I get it. When you can’t breathe, you can’t sleep. But now we’re getting close to two weeks of totally unpredictable nights and my brain is shot. SHOT. The baby is now getting up more than he did in his first few weeks at home at night and with very little pattern, so I never know just how long (short) I will get to sleep when I (attempt to) go to bed at night. And to make things even more fun, there’s the whole &#$#%$! time change which has screwed over his day sleep which means I get ZERO down time during the day, either, to rest, hence the uber case of Captain Cranky Pants today.

Because without fail, the minute I give up and make myself a coffee to FORCE myself awake and into some state of function, everyone quiets down and does their own thing/sleeps. AYFKM?! I am not amused by this parenting paradox.

So here I am, chugging coffee and blogging without sense in my brain, waving yet another white flag to say this: “Sleep deprivation SUCKS.”

Enlightening, eh?

There is a reason Mother Nature makes babies so cute. Otherwise this sh!t would never be tolerated. img_0966

 

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