For the last week in our happy little home, there has been a sinking feeling settling over us. Well, at least over us grownups (and Linky who had an unexplained but thankfully short lived, we think, fever this afternoon).And I guarantee you I can explain its reasoning in one word: August.
The whole last week has felt heavier because Ben and I have both been acutely aware that as soon as we flip the calendar tonight/tomorrow morning, real life is coming screaming back at us. And not just real life normal, but real life in an amped up way we have yet to know actually works for us.
You see, starting in August, not only will he go back to school (and HD to first grade and BOTH middles to preschool – at the same place but at different start times, tyvm), but so will I, at least in a much larger capacity than I have since becoming a mum/adjunct (you guys – too many British books/movies lately). Instead of doing my normal one-night-a-week gig (translation: three credit hours worth of teaching for the semester), I’ll be taking on a two-nights-a-week five-credit class AND a two-credit online course to teach as well! One of my friends laughed/gasped when I shared this tidbit with her and asked, “Did they catch you on a good day?!” And the answer is, yes, yes they did!
In a way, I am excited. I am curious to delve into online teaching for sure and also anticipating where this extra effort and work will put us by the end of the semester in terms of our quest for Financial Peace (a.k.a. canceling out all the repair and appliance purchases of the last 18 months!). But the darn logistics have me quaking in my boots a bit because wow, are B and I going to be tag teaming for real the whole semester. Ships in the night, I tell you. Ships in the dang night.
And we haven’t exactly had a quiet summer (not in a bad way, we’ve just gone and done an amazing lot), so to find ourselves so suddenly here, on the last day of July, feels whoa and crap and already and do we have to do August just yet?! Basically, all the things. Plus, there is sooooo much around the house that I haven’t gotten to yet, and freezer meals to make, and school prep to do, and yoga to teach/take, and books to be read, and Mama Dates to be had because holy crap, HD is going to be gone ALL THE TIME again once school starts and HOMEWORK apparently happens in first grade, and I’m sorry. I just curled up in a ball of sad sack whines which is totally lame given all the good that we have going on around us and for us – it’s just a wee bit overwhelming right now as we stand here on the cusp of flipping the calendar page.
Will we get through it? Of course. December will probably be here before we know it, but that’s just it – I want to find ways to enjoy and experience this semester, not just survive it (although surviving also sounds quite nice, so I’ll take that too, if we can, OK? OK.).
I would imagine quite a few folks are feeling the collective sigh that is the close of this month and the ushering in of the new (month/school year/activities). There is a reason lazy summer days are so loved – because they are in such contrast to the rest of our lives/years. So tonight, I’m watching the sun go down behind the trees west of our house and throwing out a couple prayers to settle with the sinking rays – one of gratitude for all our summer has been, and one of hope for all that the rest of this (school) year will bring.