Losing It

Shit, you guys. I am freaking out. And my head and heart are a little fried right now because we are in a sticky spot. A spot of Constant Vigilance, that is, and even then, shit still happens right in front of us.

Like tonight. I took my eyes off Truman for half of a split second and when I looked back, I could tell he had something in his mouth that he had just pulled from under the edge of the couch. Clump of dirt? Locust tree leaf (he’s eaten both of those things before, by the way)??? I went toward him making a “Thpbt!” sound/face (that’s onomatopoeia for “SPIT THAT OUT” in case you couldn’t tell) and what comes out of his mouth right as my hand reaches him? THIS:img_3229

Have I said SHIT yet in this post??

How are we going to survive the next however many months until he learns not to keep doing this? It is terrifying and heart jolting and I know I am doing my attention span and blood pressure damage because I am constantly trying to get eyes on him or someone else’s eyes on him to know that he is OK, because so damn quickly, he can put himself in a situation that is way more than just not OK.

I wish I could just scoop up all the hazards and put them in the trash. Seriously. That’d be a nice bit of peace of mind and some major clutter clearing in the process. But we’ve got three older kids, one of whom is now old enough to like marbles and Legos and this is uncharted, SCARY territory for us.

What do I do???

Do any of you mamas with this kind of herd # or age difference have suggestions? I am at a loss and also way concerned about Truman’s safety – even when he is right freaking in front of me.


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