It is quite possible that there are not enough words to adequately describe the last 48 hours. Whirlwind would be one, for sure, and irreplaceable another, but I’m not sure that I could stop giving you words if I truly started, so let me begin by saying this – of all things, I am grateful.
This weekend involved not one but two yoga trips (one for the retreat in Sioux City and one for a class in Red Cloud, NE) that were productive and inspiring, not to mention powerful and affirming, and right in the middle, I was gifted the opportunity to be present for a lesson involving HD where I got to physically and emotionally hold space for him in such a way that I will not soon forget.
So what is all this vagueness? Why write when the thoughts, much less the plans or the retellings, aren’t exactly concrete? Because this weekend is worth documenting, as unsettled and wild as it remains.
Please know, I love and adore it when you – the kind souls who read these posts – reach out to me, but I also know that even when no one says a word, I am still doing important work by recording my stories for myself, my family. And this weekend, the weekend of the wolves, is a time of significance so I have to record, even if it is fragmented and disjointed. Broken thoughts do not mean a broken spirit. Sometimes I believe they mean quite the opposite – a bursting forth with love and dreams.
To return to the wolf is to return to the wild. This is not just my weekend retreat with Lora. This is my 2016. Stepping back. Slowing down. Taking on new tasks. Big trips. Bigger lessons. Bold moves. All of this is “just part of the courage it takes,” and with that comes no apology and no need for cohesion. Simple recognition is enough. In this moment, acknowledging that the work is being done is all I can do.
And, quite honestly, the work has been in progress for some time. This return was put into motion who knows how long ago. To see that, in my own mind as well as in the reflections I see of myself in the eyes of others? That – that – is a source of much gratitude.
Happiness is the way. And the way is wild.