Here I Am, Stuck in the Middle with You (and You)

When I found out on RL’s first birthday that I was pregnant with Baby #3, I was surprised to say the least. When LT came out exactly 8 months later (they are 20 months – to the day – apart), I probably should have figured right then and there that these two close babes would be, well, close. And now that we have sweet Truman in the mix? It’s official – our Middles are quite the pair.

As a product of a two-kiddo family, I don’t actually get the whole Middle Child thing. I mean, I know enough from pop culture to get the gist, but when I refer to Raegan and Lincoln as our Middles, I don’t know if I am fitting or fighting the MC stereotypes. What I mean, simply, is that they are without comparison, except for maybe each other.

They are partners in crime, best friends, at each other’s throats, and all the other cliches in a matter of minutes, all day long.

Lately they have been giving me fits in the (ha – shocking) middle of the day when I am trying to nurse TJ and get him down for his afternoon nap. In order to do that, I have to leave the Middles to play on their own for an extended bit of time, which on Tuesday resulted in me coming down to find them with Amazon packages that they had COLLECTED THEMSELVES FROM THE FED-EX GUY (OR WAS IT UPS? I WOULDN’T KNOW! I WASN’T THERE!) AT THE FRONT DOOR AFTER UNLOCKING IT AND OPENING IT WHEN HE RANG THE DOORBELL.

Can you sense my frustration here?

For the love of all things holy, how many times have I told them not to go outside without me?!

Their defense? We didn’t go outside, Mama. We just opened the door. 

And they also managed to disable my iPhone to the extent that it locked itself down for so many minutes before I could access it again.

Insert Face Palm here. Doh. And WTAF?!

So, after a lovely conversation about how opening the door to people when Mama is not around could result in someone coming in our house or someone TAKING THEM, I made them swear and promise and pledge and all the other things that they would not do this again. And don’t touch Mama’s phone!

Then, a day later, because I have learned a thing or two in life as a parent of wee ones, I told them what I wanted them to do should the doorbell ever ring when I am with the baby instead of focusing on what not to do. Come get me, I said. Come tell me that someone is at the door and we will deal with it together.  Because I would much rather interrupt nursing and nap (seriously) than have this crap continue.

Sure enough, yesterday they came scurrying to find me, to tell me that the doorbell had rung (no, we don’t have an Amazon problem, tyvm), and I was so proud of them. They listened! Yay, Middles!!

Flash forward to today. No doorbells. No deliveries. No interruptions. I put on some music and they were still playing when I came back down after putting Trumy down, but right away I noticed no music. And there was Linky telling me, “Raegan touched your phone.” and Raegge telling me, “NO I didn’t!” but it took all of one glance at said phone to see pictures of Lincoln that I did not take to see that yes, yes she did, but oh wait, there was also a missed call from my MIL, so I called her back.

And you know what we discovered? She was calling me back but I never called her, so really neither one of us really meant to call the other, which is to say that the Middles totally caused these shenanigans when they clearly were not touching my phone.

DOH. Again.

Oh, well. At least this time they didn’t leave the house or open the door to a stranger or disable/break anything. And actually, they gave us a pretty good laugh when we realized what was going on and that no one needed anything frantic or urgent in the middle of this TGIF day.

Oh, RL and LT. You are so many things.Entertaining is certainly right up there toward the top of the list.

Photography by Raegan:

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