Cry Me a River

Well, I guess it wouldn’t be a yoga training without an update and some tears, but wow, friends. We’re not just dealing with some here. Somehow, something dislodged in my dam and this weekend I am a blubbering, weepy mess all of the sudden.

So, first…a little backstory. Maybe two. To clarify – I am in Lincoln, NE this weekend for an intensive training immersion for Yoga Nidra. I am beyond thrilled to have this opportunity and have been waiting months for this weekend to arrive. Nidra has become more and more an interest of mine, as a teacher and as a practitioner, and the wisdom and knowledge being shared with us from our teacher, Sreedevi K. Bringi from Naropa University in Boulder, CO is so very much spot on with the way in which I want to learn and expand my knowledge of this subject matter, that I am nothing but grateful to be here.

I am also, apparently, a big-time crier this weekend, which leads me to backstory No.2. Remember the comparison post between Baby No.5 and Linky? Well, what I don’t think I mentioned (or perhaps I did and missed it in the skimming/remembering) is that my last couple therapy sessions have been boring. I’ve only been going once a month and while they have still been helpful and beneficial, I almost felt like both times I was running out of stuff to say. This is actually a great thing, because even with all the chaos of this spring semester, I felt like this meant I was handling things (i.e. life) pretty darn well.

And not to say that crying (a lot) means I’m not handling life well, but I certainly don’t know where all of these tears are coming from, other than they must have been storing up for a while now, because I can’t remember the last time I had a good, big ugly cry, but that’s sure what keeps looming during our training sessions.

Both last night during our introductions/what led us to this weekend, and then today when sharing and getting feedback on our sankalpas (think a personal resolve/intention that guides your YN practice each time you practice), I pretty much instantly turned into a blubbering mess. Even just in passing conversations during breaks, I keep welling up with emotion.

The heck?!

Again, I ask, where is this all coming from?

Of course, some of it can be blamed simply on hormones. Those are clearly in abundance in my system right now and many a pregnant woman has been known to be extra weepy. But I also think that my lack of time at home this week, coupled with the (amazing) intensity of this training has just put my nerves on edge to the extent that my emotions have decided to wring themselves out a bit while we’re at it.

And you know what? That’s not a bad thing.

img_6926I still haven’t gotten in (or would it be out) the full blown sob fest that seems to be sitting just under the surface, so I’m kind of hoping I can get that in BEFORE we begin our final session together tomorrow, otherwise, perhaps I’ll just go ahead a skip the mascara altogether, because so far I’m two-for-two on training time taking a majority of it off for me. But so it goes. You’ve got to have a little rain for growth.

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