Behind the Screen

What you see is not what you get. We know this, right? Especially when it comes to what folks present (or not) on social media? Over the years of keeping this blog, I’ve prided myself on keeping it as real and honest as possible but part of keeping that honesty is also in bearing in mind that even with all that’s been shared here, there’s also been plenty in our lives that hasn’t made it on because some things are just private like that.

Pain, for me, often tends to be private. At least at first. I don’t readily share my pain on a wide scale because to do so comes with great vulnerability and exposure, neither of which are easy to just pull from one’s back pocket, especially if you’re hurting or have been for awhile.

So here’s what I’ve been keeping mostly to myself: April was a month of pain. Basically a entire month of hurting that started the week after Easter with a headache that just would not go away, no matter how mindful I was in trying to prevent it each day or how much I tried to treat it with OTC medicines.

At first I didn’t realize anything was seriously wrong because you know, sometimes a person just gets a headache or two. But then after days turned into a week and that then turned into weekS, I started getting nervous, not to mention exhausted because as you might imagine, my house is not a conducive environment for headache recovery. Have you met my children? They are my whole heart but there a lot of them and not one of them is quiet which is hard even when I don’t have a days/weeks-long headache battle in my body.

This is why I went to the eye doctor. Yes, I’m using the readers and yes, I’m sure they are good for my eyes, but no, they aren’t making the headaches subside. But yes, still reading like a maniac, even with headaches because I am who I am, folks.

This is why I went to my GP. No, he didn’t see any red flags at this point of something larger or scarier like my weary brain was starting to fear, but also no, the medicine I got there to try also didn’t do anything to make the headaches disappear.

And this is why I went to my chiropractor (that’s a regular thing anyway but I haven’t been since all this became a noticeable problem, so it was beyond time to get there). That was just today, actually, and while the headache isn’t totally gone, I am really, really hoping that this is the fix my system needs to move away from this place of pain.

At this point, answers or relief (ummm, who am I kidding? Preferably both!) would be greatly appreciated. It’s really hard to go through the day-to-day when every day involves pain, but maybe more so to do this on one’s own. Hence the telling now and the reminder that what we see of people (online and in person) is never, ever the full story. Are we still doing the things big and small that you see me sharing on social media? Yeah, because constant headache or not, I have no choice but to keep mom-ing and working and going. But there is always, always more to it, and sometimes, when the pain goes on for too long, it’s worth admitting to the struggle because it’s as much a part of us as all the rest.

Hopefully I’ll have a happier, healthier update to share soon, but for now I’ve got to keep doing what I can to try and solve/resolve what’s happening in my body while keeping all the other plates spinning, too.

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