Integrate

In a not-surprising shift, I’ve moved away from resolutions in recent years and settled on words to guide and focus each new year instead.

The first potentials that came to mind when putting words to 2022 were wholeness and healing. They were part of my HNY post to family and friends online and both are very much what I am seeking in my life; however, neither one quite encapsulates on its own what it is I hope to cultivate with this calendar flip. I needed a word that could help carry the weight of all that I am and all that I am trying to do, but not one that necessarily gives me new tasks.

Welcome, Integrate.

I stole it, in part, from the Ecstatic Breathwork classes that I use and am currently doing in a 15-day loop, doing the five-part series 3x in a row. Yesterday was Day 10 of the process and my second time (this time) of doing Day 5, which is called, (again, no) surprise, Integration. In it the teacher speaks to letting the breath help the other pieces fall into place without chasing any sort of experience or outcome, and for a controller like me who has been facing months of hard shit out of her control, I realized I need that word around me more as a reminder of all the pieces I already have that can still slot into place beautifully as my journey with healing/wholeness continues.

And even though I cringe when my students pull this in their formal writing assignments, it was when I read the official MW definition (“to form, coordinate, or blend into a functioning or unified whole”) that I knew I had the right word and idea for me and for this year. Being a functioning, unified whole? Hell, yes. Sign me up, please.

The good news is, I’m already on this path. I have the tools I need to be my authentic self.

I am continuing to learn ways to work with and possibly even manage what is happening in my body.

I know that just as my problems don’t stem from just one point, neither do their solutions.

There are many elements at work. There are many facets that need to be addressed.

I can give myself the time and space to deal with this. The entire new year, if need be.

To integrate is to bring together, to unite.

Every day I can pull from my toolbox and give myself a chance to invite this in, to see the integration already in process. To let some things burn and others build.

If some wholeness and healing pop up along the way? All the better.

Posted in Me

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