Friends, Raegan has been waiting for this day for, well, possibly two years when HD started Kindergarten, so to say that she was Ready is a bit of an understatement. She was so ready that we had tears yesterday because HD got to start and she had to wait for today! My sweet girl. Can you see that longing look in her eye in the photo bomb from his first day pics? Yep. She was more than pumped to get up today and Get It!

And you know what? It was a great morning. Much better than yesterday, actually. Maybe it was the sunshine or the fact that now, today, our real big kid school routine begins (preK will be added in a couple weeks and then we’ll have a couple/few months of normalcy before Baby arrives), but wow – total difference in everyone’s attitude and temperament (including Mama’s). Also, she told me I picked “perfectly” with her golden unicorn t-shirt for her to wear today. 😉

We got to walk with friends to school as we like to do and from there, it was a bit of back and forth across the playground for myself and the littlest boys (naturally the grades in which my kids land line up on opposite sides of the building) but we got to catch up with Big Brother (who ran ahead with his buddies) for a quick photo and hug (and face wipe which I also had to do for Raegan — apparently we need to install some more lighting in our house because I had no idea they still had breakfast faces until we got out in the sunshine of the playground. Whoops.) And then it was a quick dash back to Raegge for all the same before watching her walk in for her first day.

She was a Rock Star. No tears. No freakout when I left her to go check on HD. She just flat out nailed it. And you know what? So did I! I had the sunnies ready to go to hide my blotchy face and tissues in my bag, but no tears, my friends! From any of us! I can’t even possibly explain this except that she was so solid and that helped me keep it together, too. Could the tears still come? You bet. But for now, this – a quick little note to my girl on her first day of school:

Dearest Raegan,

Welcome to Kindergarten, Baby Girl! We are so proud of the amazing person you are and on this, your first day of school, we wish you all the continued fun, learning, and excitement with which you have so anxiously awaited this day. Your strength of spirit, your creativity, and your spark for life are inspirations to your dad and I, not to mention great sources of joy for all who know you. May you always carry the tenacity, sweetness, and love you hold inside you today with you wherever you go, for we know you are off and on your way to do and be amazing. We love you, Raegee. Go get ’em, girlie! 

Love,

Mama*

*OK, there are the sniffles. I knew they weren’t far below the surface! 

 

So it’s been a few years since I read Dante’s Inferno, but it is not hard to remember the basic concept of various levels of hell (connected to various levels of sin, but so not where this post is going, so let’s skip that part, OK?). Today I discovered that certain tasks of raising Littles must come straight from a Parenting Purgatory, in which it too has levels, and one level is definitely dedicated to sleep, another to laundry, and still another, teaching – that is, teaching life skills, such as wiping one’s own ass (also not where this post is going, thank goodness) and tying one’s own shoes.
Shoe Hell is where we found ourselves on this, the last day of summer break before school starts tomorrow.

Do I feel in part like a (not so proud) Bad Mom that my now 7yo/first grader still doesn’t know how to tie his shoes? Yes. But do I also have confirmation from friends who also have first graders who cannot tie their own shoes? Yes. Whew.

This life skill was a total summer goal of ours and we totally didn’t even try it until today. Not the best planning on my part, eh? But you guys, I totally believed the Pinterest lies, I mean links, that told me this could be accomplished not only in just one day but in five short minutes! I even watched the video last night and thought, OK, that should work.

Here was what we will now call Attempt No. 1: Magic Fingers

It very much did not work. I am sorry, but Magic Fingers, My ASS.

Problem No. 1: my children cannot even do the “simple, like normal” tie that is the foundation of the whole damn process. Automatic red flag, my friends.

Problem No. 2: the video goes way fast and does not keep repeating instructions so it is either get it or get super frustrated.

Problem No.3: I can’t freaking do it. I sat on the floor with my two oldest and my very own shoe, watching and listening and trying for 5 minutes times at least 5 or 6 and NO DAMN DICE. Not once did I – the 34yo – actually tie my shoes using this method.

Which led us to what we will now call Attempt No. 2: Magic Molly (seriously, folks – what’s with the magic?? You are making a Muggle out of me because I just ain’t buying it!)

It also very much did not work.

Problem No. 1: Because this was just what came up next on YouTube, I had no idea what she was going to say or what prep work (knots and marker colored strings) was involved, so we immediately got lost and the children started blaming me for not helping them/their stuff not being right (I was mad dash scrambling to tie knots on one side of their laces and use masking tape – the closest thing nearby – instead of markers on the other).

Problem No.2: See above — yelling, whining, finger pointing children. No way. Not having it.

Problem No.3: I said “No way. Not having it.” and took a step back rather than trying to continue down this purgatory spiral (as continuing would have easily resulted in my flipping the eff out) which totally backfired because then the children also wanted to quit (face palm) and the whole thing was just clearly not happening.

We needed snacks and hydration at this point, so I don’t know if this method is actually flawed or if our timing was just bad, but as it was, it still was not the answer for us.

And then, because FB and the universe are little bit crazy, we landed on Video No.3 (look for vid on shoe tying, of course), which a friend happened to just share on the FB this afternoon, as she was also trying to teach a Little to tie shoes today. No mama alone, right? Right.

So this one looked good. No mention of MAGIC in the title, for one thing, and her voice sounds just like that of one of my dear friends, however, the same fundamental flaw also found in the first video — assuming my children understand the basic first loop/tie move — exists here, which is tricky. I’m not sure you can call something the EASIEST if in fact the first step is actually not yet easy for the attemptee. Anyway. It’s not like anything could go much worse than the first two rounds, so I decided why not? and gave it a whirl.

After a little work with just me and the two of them on the assumed step, we watched the FB video to see the remaining steps and lo and behold – HD did it! Only once (he tried again for good measure and was not happy when it didn’t pan out a second time), mind you, but it was totally there for a moment, so I am taking it and running with it as a victory, damnit.

RL was still in frustrated whiny tears over the assumed step, but you know, considering she’s not even 5 yet, I figure we have a couple years, not a matter of days, to figure out this crap.

Also, there is this – a three-minute TED video my uncle shared with me about the science of shoe tying that explains that pretty much all of us are doing it wrong anyway. WHO KNEW THIS WAS SUCH A COMPLEX SUBJECT?! Guess I will cut myself some slack in the mom department on not knocking this out of the park today.

 

 

To be honest, I don’t know that I was ever really grounded much as a kid. Maybe a couple times? That’s not to say I was some sort of perfect teenager but I would say my rebellion scale was pretty light (unless my parents remember differently??), which meant there weren’t many times I had to be forced to stay home as punishment.

For some reason, the phrase “grounded” came to mind in this sense today, though, as I was doing my meditating mama thing with Truman after lunch and trying frantically to ground myself after a whirly swirly morning of pinging from one activity and location to the next. When we are young and getting ourselves in trouble, grounding can be one of the ultimate consequences, but now as an adult, I find myself seeking moments of forced slow down more and more.

Of course I realize these are two different meanings of the word, and certainly the reaction to each is different, but is the outcome really that different? When the world is spinning madly out of control, or just moving faster than you might like, making yourself stop and coming back down a notch or five, is so beneficial, so restorative.

Today I had Raegge’s end-of-year program at her preschool and HD’s end-of-year picnic at his school and a fruit bowl to prepare and a kid to get out the door and two others to get dressed and another nursed and down early for nap (so a sitter could hang with him while the rest of us went to preschool) and get myself showered before 7:30 which always adds an element of challenge and intrigue to our morning routine.

Breakfast? Well, the children got fed but I did not, but you can bet your sweet bippy that I got my coffee, so by the time we got to eating muffins and fruit after RL’s adorable program, I may have been jangling a bit. But there is no rest for the caffeinated (no really, that’s the point, isn’t it?), so right after I dropped the Middles off back at the house, this time with the grandparentals, I darted off to HD’s shindig where I didn’t exactly help much but I did get some extra time with him which was super. 

And then back home to make some travel arrangements and feed people lunch and get the baby down and really, this isn’t all that different from a normal day’s chaos, except all the coming and going is really pretty foregin to me, so grounding I needed. And grounding I will need quite a bit as we transition from school to summer and all the fun and activity we have coming in the next few months.

So breath. Grounding. Forcing myself to stop to take stock of the current moment, keeping my head from spinning right off my head. Because when I do that, when I stop myself from just bouncing from one thing to the next, I get to embrace all the beauty that is around me, even when it means a messy floor, laundry baskets scattered around the house, random shoes everywhere underfoot, and a table that still needs to be cleared from a meal or activity or two ago.

I think I’ve been waiting for all this to slow down, but I am learning instead that I need to accept that this is my reality. This house and this life and this heart are so full. Although it would be nice if everything could be neat and organized, both in my house and in my head, this is what it is. This is who I am. And I can find groundedness, even in the midst of all this. What more can I ask for? (OK, a house elf would be great, but ya know, win some, lose some, eh?).

P.S. Raegan is a wonderful little photographer!