I’ve had almost a week to absorb and process the wonder that was last Sunday’s Spring Clean workshop with the beautiful Lora McCarville here in Hastings. And finally I have a few spare moments to write about it here….
The day itself was less than beautiful. We’re talking cold rain pretty much ALL day and even snow and slushy crap at other times. It was very nervous making for me as I had people traveling in from hour(s) away for the event and I was very anxious about everyone making it here safely. But that’s the thing about Nebraskans – we are a hearty bunch and when it comes to getting some time to check in with our heads and, more importantly, our hearts, we don’t let a little snow + showers on April freaking 30th stop us. No way. Every single person made it and on time and so we got to enjoy the warmth of the Prairie Loft Pavilion and the teachings of one of my absolute favorites all together, just as we were meant to do.
Call me a fan girl all you want. I don’t hide that because every time I get to sit and talk with and learn from Lora, I take away new a-ha’s and gentle reminders of wisdom I already carry with me, and all of us need people in our lives who can be those sources for us. And as everything came together for Sunday’s workshop, despite the weather obstacles and challenges of coordinating such an event from a business perspective, I can say that once again I landed right where I needed to be that afternoon, hearing perspectives that I very much need in my life these days.
When I found out I was pregnant with Baby No.5, I had this notion that I was going to ROCK IT with staying on top of yoga, meditation, and overall fitness. Perhaps this is because I was just coming of my 3/5 Challenge, but I really thought I was going to yoga, meditate, and walk/prenatal fitness DVD a certain number of days each week starting from right there in week 4/5. As in, I was going to be the most fit and functional I’ve ever been. With Baby No. 5.
And then reality smacked me in the face (or rather in my tired brain and upset stomach) and no. That has not happened. I’ve kept up with my teaching and some of my household duties, but beyond that? Whoa. Let’s just self-care becomes much harder to achieve when your body and brain feel like they are locked in survival mode. And then the guilt comes because you know if you could just do something to take care of yourself, you’d probably feel better, but you don’t have enough gumption to do anything and so on and so on.
But here is what Lora reminded me of last weekend: The Magic is in Coming Back. That can apply to so many facets of life and of a yoga practice. It can mean coming back to the mat or the meditation cushion. It can mean coming back to yourself and your center. It can mean giving yourself some grace and space (especially under extenuating circumstances). It can mean – and mostly means – coming back to the breath. When the thoughts take over, come back to the breath. This is not a new concept for me; it’s something I’ve been working on for years. But this reminder of what I needed, exactly when I needed it was a true blessing and gift because it confirms what I have said all along – this is a life long practice. There is no perfection. There is no mastery. It is always a practice. It is always about returning. And therein lies the progress. The compassion for self and others. The true magic.
So I’m working on it. I’m getting my feet back underneath me and making a gentle return to gentleness with myself, and eventually I’ll re-establish those practices that guide and ground me. And I’ll give thanks as I do so – for my teachers, my champions, my magic.